Friday, June 23, 2006

A Pause, A Thought

Just thought that I post a poem that a particular mate of mine liked, of which I found to be meaningful as well.

Happy The Man, by John Dryden

Happy the man, and happy he alone,
He who can call today his own:
He who, secure within, can say,
Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.

Be fair or foul or rain or shine
The joys I have possessed, in spite of fate, are mine.
Not Heaven itself upon the past has power,
But what has been, has been, and I have had my hour.

A rather stoic piece that halis self-fortitude and satisfaction, don't you think?

posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/23/2006 07:36:00 pm 4 comments

Monday, June 19, 2006

Walking Alone

Is it a matter of inexhaustible faith that causes inexorable disappointment? Or vice versa? Strange pondering that stifle my thoughts...

Defeat is such a painful word which seems to pervade one's world without the slightest notice. We admire the achievements of others and despise our own weaknesses. Such is the order of the day that slowly becomes an irreversable trend. On and on it rolls, gathering pace, relentlessly.

Walking past each other, a perfunctory greeting. Nothing more. Will this return to normal? Probably not. Maybe there was never a normal...


Currently reading Monkey Grip by Helen Garner, who I consider a writer par excellence. She possesses the skill of weaving the literature into your mind and wraps you around the tapestry of her art. Wow.. Brilliant.

posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/19/2006 10:42:00 am 1 comments

Monday, June 12, 2006

Perhaps

Gasping for a breath of hope in a better tomorrow. Looking for that one missing piece to complete one of the many incomplete puzzles in our lifes. Perhaps it is far too easy for one to be engulfed by the many ailments existing around us to notice that single spot of sunshine shining through.

A vivid moment sticks out in my mind. A friend of mine once remarked, 'there are many ships around us, friendship, leadership, and even comradeship'... In her cheerful tone, she did remind me that the most important 'ship' of all was perhaps 'relationship' ...It sunk in...What a wondrous word that yet possesses such distant beckoning..

Went for a bit of retail therapy today and bought a pair of new shoes. I guess, sometimes purchase power is the power that we can all enjoy at will, but definitely not in excess. The virtues of thrift must be matched by the discipline of abstinence.

To be honest, that moment of spending did replay itself happily in my mind a couple of times. Perhaps, its a sign? Then again, perhaps not!

posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/12/2006 10:29:00 pm 1 comments

Belonging

'Got to ask yourself the question, Where are you now?'..listening to James Blunt 'Wise Men' on the radio..A little voice within me whimpers and sighs..

For some reason, this simple question kept resonating in my head. Living in a foreign land so faraway from home, one cannot help but be struck down by homesickness at set intervals. Wise men (no pun intended on song) have constantly reminded me that only with the ability to overcome homesickness can I successfully assimilate into mine surroundings. Or is it?

I beg to differ. Perhaps there has been too much upheaval? Or maybe its just a clandestine longing for stability that causes such nostalgic reactions.. My guess is as good as yours..

'Got to ask yourself this question, Where are you now?'...It rings on...

posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/12/2006 01:55:00 am 1 comments

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Self-Searching

I would love to dwell in an ethereal place, a place of wondrous marvels and beyond celestial spheres.. A place I can truly call my own..

But whether I can find this place remains the greater question.. From young, we often have wandering thoughts of Utopia, this mysterious paradise that [we suppose] awaits us when we get older. Perhaps, we are motivated by the perception that we can finally break free from the endless rules and boundaries that enclose us. Yet, having finally broken free of them, are we really happier and one step closer to Utopia?

I would like to think so, maybe all the difficulties we face during our growing up phase had been mere tribulations to prove our eligibility to Utopia. Not necessarily true.. The depressing, dampening effect of doomsayers never ceases to haunt me. Their endless ability to perceive outcomes as an inevitable result confounds me and consigns me to a mood of dejection. Break free? No.. Join us! Have I succumbed to their pressure? In a life abound with questions, where truth is often too ephemeral to be seen as the Truth, I might have crumbled too easily, too often.

Yet, the search for Utopia is continuous, and more often than not, it seeks its own occupants rather than its occupants seeking it. I liken the search to a journey without an aim in sight, a mission without a proposed outcome, a piece of literature without a proper conclusion. With all that in mind, would you dare to venture?

posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/10/2006 03:08:00 pm 0 comments

Thursday, June 08, 2006

The Sour Taste of Confusion

I am confused. My daily life revolves around a routine which I have come to treasure but the spartan lifestyle I enjoy leading is constantly undermined by a steady flow of criticism. It is easy to say that one should stick to one's beliefs but when you are in my shoes, life is simply not a bed of roses.

Yield not to temptation..

Why do I have conflicting thoughts within me? Is it because I cannot face up to reality? Is it because I cannot move on from my unhappy setbacks?

I was told today that I enjoy vicarious thrills through the experiences of others. Well, some may argue that such an act is delusion while others may chide its passiveness. I choose to believe neither. I choose to call it individualism.

On a happier note, today was a good day. Sometimes, we tend to neglect people as we continue on with our lives but it is always nice to come back at the end of the day to experience the warmth of friendship and the intimate sharing of mateship. Today was such a day.

Sitting back in my comfy chair, penning my thoughts, enjoying a warm mug of coffee and reflecting on a life pervaded by incongruence..

Sheer Indulgence..

posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/08/2006 08:53:00 pm 0 comments

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Why...?

One who holds on too much to possession will inevitably be hurt.

Such is the conclusion I have come up with regarding my current state of inanition. It is not easy to let go when you attach so much emotion and thought to it.. such is the foolish devotion that one can recognise but cannot withdraw. Too much of something may not be a good thing.. cliched but all so true

A surreal world is perhaps an escape or a refuge for the confused. Indulgence! One may accusingly point a finger at you and expect you to react.. No.. Fortitude and resilience guide me..

Oh mine.. the radio is playing some good music today, perhaps it heard my cry for some healing and a need for soothing? The wonders of music on a dejected soul cannot be understated.

Reading a sci-fi novel, something I have not done since.. I can't remember.. a while ago? I am unsure of the impact it could have on me. Fading nervous laughter..


posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/07/2006 02:33:00 pm 0 comments

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

A Fresh Start

Didn't really have a good day, so I guess blogging could be a better alternative than just shutting it all up. It took a bit of courage to overcome my natural inhibition before starting this blog. But since I have managed to take the first step, I guess things should be easier from now on. Probably the most interesting thing to happen today was rushing to watch the movie 'X-Men 3', which was good fun especially if you consider we have fifteen minutes to rush to a cinema miles away. Nice way to end off a day of regrets and frustrations I guess.

posted by -tourniquet- @ 6/06/2006 11:22:00 pm 0 comments